Health CareDisease

What is Sapiosexuality and Demisexuality mean

The question arises what is Sapiosexuality? Sapiosexuality definition a person’s sexual attraction to intelligent persons, to the point that they see intelligence as the most significant characteristic in a relationship. It’s a relatively new word that’s gained in popularity in recent years.

Sapiosexual is derived from the Latin word ‘sapien’ (wise) and ‘sexualis’ (sexual). Sapiosexual is still a relatively new term, being first known used by Merriam-Webster in 2004.

Sapiosexuality can be identified by anyone, including heterosexuals and LGBTQIA+ persons.

Understanding Sapiosexuality

Everything starts and ends with the mind for sapiosexuals. Intelligence increases sexual attraction among sapiosexuals. Let’s have a look at what sapiosexuality implies.

It All Begins With Mind​

You can’t be a sapiosexual without brain being stimulated since sapiosexuals are drawn to knowledge. There is no passion, liking, desiring, or sexual fulfilment without first level is brain intellectually.

Anyone Can Be Sapiosexual

Sapiosexuality has no constraints, unlike gender-specific prohibitions. Men, women, trans persons, bisexual people, or anybody of any gender or sexual identity can be liked. You have the freedom to be attracted to anybody you choose.

Sapiosexuals are more interested in the inner workings of a person’s mind than their physical appearance.

Sexuality Is Become Less Important

When sapiosexuals are looking for a relationship, they are more interested with their possible mate’s brains than with their appearance. This indicates that physical characteristics such as body form, size, and face features are less important.

Sapiosexuals represent their desire for others in a special way since intelligence is placed over appearances. If a sapiosexual is romantically interested in you, you may be confident that they respect you for more than your appearance.

How To Know If You’re A Sapiosexual

Let’s look at some of the most prevalent sapiosexual characteristics. If you agree with the majority of the following assertions, you’re probably a sapiosexual.

You Prefer In-Depth Discussions

You’re a sapiosexual if there’s nothing better than having an intelligent chat with someone. Sapiosexuals are drawn to those who can articulately describe themselves as well as listen to you do the same.

You’re Looking For Intelligence In A Potential Partner

If someone’s capacity to make you heated, interested, tantalised, and absolutely over yourself with their oral competence, but without an oral skills, you’re a sapiosexual. 

If this describes you, you are most likely a sapiosexual.

You Think Intelligence Is More Attractive Than A Perfect Body

Sapiosexuals prefer intelligence above physical attractiveness. So, if you’re more concerned in a person’s beliefs, values, as well as interests, and you’re eager to learn regarding their morality, values, as well as interests.

You’re Attracted To Correct Grammar

If seeing your date correctly utilise the word “you’re” makes you feel good, you’re probably a sapiosexual. Sapiosexuals must have excellent grammar!

A Cozy Bookstore Is Your Ideal First Date

If you like peaceful dates with no interruptions so you can have an intellectual talk with a possible spouse. Similarly, sapiosexuals would most likely choose a more personal atmosphere for their first date.

Best Places To Meet Sapiosexuals

While determining whether or not you are a sapiosexual is simple, finding like-minded persons might be difficult.

Most individuals meet single people at clubs, pubs, lounges, concerts, as well as sporting events, but if you’re looking for folks with a lot of knowledge and intelligence.

At The Library

There’s no better location to meet someone who is intellectually curious than a spotless library. You two might choose some books and find a quiet corner to get to understand one other.


The internet offers a series of ways to meet new individuals. You may attempt online dating, interacting with new people on social media, or attending online classes, for example (creative writing, cooking, etc.).

There are also encounter groups for doing things with others who share similar interests, as well as forums dedicated to certain hobbies.

Through A Mutual Acquaintance

This older quality might still work in your favor. Friends may be excellent resources for sapiosexuals who are having difficulty finding appropriate partners. You could know someone who knows someone who is a perfect fit for you. So don’t rule out your buddies; enlisting their help in your love life might be a terrific idea.

At Your Favorite Restaurant

Have you ever gone on a date with yourself? If you haven’t already, here’s why you should. First and foremost, there is no wait, and second, individuals attract toward those who are self-assured enough to go on a date.

If you go to one of your favorite restaurants alone, you could encounter another single person who enjoys it as much as you do. After that, you may both sit down and discuss why you enjoy it so much. It’s always wonderful to bond through a common interest in eating.

Participating In Your Favourite Pastime

This is a virtual certainty. Wherever your dopamine levels are high is where you should meet your perfect partner.

If you’re looking for a new spouse, locations like the spa, hair salons, nail shops, yoga studios, museums, art galleries, etc., are great places to search.

In Your Neighborhood

Take a trip around your neighborhood and do something that our generation has never done before…wave and say hello!

You’d be shocked at how many single sapiosexuals live in your neighborhood. With the heat of summer, you may go for a morning or evening stroll to get some exercise and meet new people.

What Is Demisexuality

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation or form of sexuality.

Demisexual persons are only sexually attracted to those with whom they share an emotional connection. They can be homosexual, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and they can identify as either male or female.

The prefix “demi” refers to someone who is midway between sexual and asexual. Graysexuality might include demisexuality. A graysexual individual may only feel sexual desire on rare occasions or may sense sexual attraction but be uninterested in sex.

Demisexuals do not experience primary attraction, which is the attraction you feel if you first meet anyone. They only experience secondary attraction, which occurs after you’ve knowing someone for a time.

Demisexuality’s Other Names

Demisexuality is the sole term for the desire to connect with someone before feeling attracted to them. However, some people may refer to demisexuality using terminology that correspond to other forms of graysexuality. Among them are:

  • Semisexual
  • Gray-A
  • Hyposexual
  • Low sexual intensity
  • Sexual-ish
  • Asexual-ish

Demiromanticism is similar to but not the same as demisexuality. Before they can feel romantic toward anyone, Demiromantic persons need to develop an emotional bond with them.

Why Is It Necessary To Give Demisexuality A Name?

Who you’re attracted to is determined by your orientation. Demisexual people are attracted to a certain type of people.

“But many don’t wait to have an emotional bond to someone before engaging in sexual activity with them?” 

Yes, many people prefer to have sex with somebody with whom they have a strong tie – whether that bond is formed via marriage, a committed loving relationship, or a good and trusted friendship.

Demisexuality, on the other hand, isn’t about having sex. It has to do with a person’s capacity to experience sexual attraction to someone.

It’s possible to be sexually attracted to anyone without having intercourse with them, and vice versa.

Demisexuals aren’t only those who date for a long period of time before having sexual relations with them. It’s not about choosing to have sex with someone, but about being sexually attracted to them.

However, some demisexual persons may opt to delay having intercourse with a loving partner for a period of time, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Is It True That Forming An Emotional Attachment Ensures The Growth Of Sexual Attraction?

No! Heterosexual males, for example, are sexually attracted to women, but they aren’t interested to every woman they encounter.

Demisexuality, on the other hand, does not imply that a person is attracted to everyone with whom they share a strong emotional attachment.

Does This Behaviour Fall Under The Asexual Category?

In the asexual, graysexual, and demisexual circles, this topic is widely disputed.

Asexual people have little or no sexual attraction to them. Finding someone sexually attractive and desiring to have sex with them is referred to as “sexual attraction.”

Sexual, sometimes known as allosexual, is the polar opposite of asexual.

Graysexuality is commonly referred to as the “middle ground” between asexuality and allosexuality since graysexual persons seldom, if ever, experience sexual desire.

Some believe that demisexuality does not fall under the asexual umbrella because it only relates to the situations in which you experience sexual desire. It makes no distinction between how frequently or powerfully you experience sexual desire.

Someone who feels significant sexual attraction to virtually all of their closest friends and lovers but not to strangers or acquaintances may consider themselves demisexual but not asexual.

Someone who is just actually attracted to close friends or lovers on rare and infrequent occasions may strongly identify as graysexuality / asexuality.

However, some contend that demisexuality fits under the asexual umbrella. This is because demisexuality refers to a scenario in which you only feel sexual desire in specific situations.

It really doesn’t important what others believe about where this orientation stands on the asexual-allosexual continuum at the end of the day. You are free to identify in whatever way you want, and you are free to use several labels to express your sexual and romantic preferences.

Is It Possible To Apply A Gender Perspective To This?

Most sexual orientation designations connect to the gender(s) of the individuals we’re interested to, such as gay, bisexual, or pansexual.

Demisexuality is distinct in that it pertains to the nature of our attraction to the persons we like. It’s fine if you wish to use a term that includes gender orientation.

Yes, you can be demisexual as well as gay, bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual, and so on, depending on your personal preferences.

What Does It Mean To Be Demisexual In Practise?

  • Varied people have different perceptions of demisexuality.
  • You could identify with the following sensations or circumstances if you’re demisexual:
  • I rarely feel sexually attracted to strangers or friends I meet on the street.
  • I’ve had sexual feelings for someone closest to me.
  • My emotional attachment to someone impacts whether or not I am sexually attracted to them.
  • Even if they’re visually pleasing or have a great personality, I’m not attracted or interested in having sex with someone I don’t know well.
  • However, not all demisexuals are same, and you might be one even if you don’t identify with the above.

What Distinguishes This From Being Graysexual?

Demisexuals only experience sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional attachment. This is distinct from the seldom occurrence of sexual attraction.

Demisexuals may feel sexual attraction frequently and passionately, but only with persons they know well.

Graysexuals may also discover that when they do sense sexual attraction, it isn’t always with persons with whom they have a strong emotional relationship.

Is It Feasible To Be Both At Once Or To Switch Between The Two?

Yes. You can be demisexual as well as graysexual, or demisexual and asexual, at the same time. It’s also very OK to switch between orientations.

But What About The Other End Of The Spectrum? Can You Go Between Sexual And Asexual Phases?

Yes. Demisexual persons may identify as asexual, graysexual, or allosexual, as previously stated.

Sexuality and gender identity are flexible concepts. It’s possible that your sexual attraction capacity changes with time. For example, you may transition from being allosexual to graysexual to asexual.

Surprisingly, over 80% of participants to the 2015 Asexual Census classified as another orientation before identifying as asexual, demonstrating how fluid sexuality can be.

Remember: This doesn’t rule out the possibility that they were previously labelled as asexual, or that they are today.

Fluid orientations are just as legitimate as non-fluid orientations.

What Does It Mean To Be Demisexual In A Relationship?

Demisexuals may or may not be interested in romantic relationships and partnerships.

Demisexual folks may or may not choose to have sex in partnerships. Sex may not be vital in relationships for some demisexual persons. Others value it highly.

Some demisexuals may believe that their relationship with their partner isn’t close enough for them to be sexually attracted to them.

Some people will wait until they feel close enough to their partner, while others will just refuse.

Some people have sexual relations with their partners without feeling sexually attracted to them. Every demisexual individual is unique.

How Can You Explain Demisexuality To Your Loved Ones?

Coming out is difficult for everyone. It’s much more difficult when others don’t comprehend your orientation.

The word “demisexuality” is not as well-known as “bisexuality” or “pansexuality.” Fewer people are familiar with it.

As a result, you may need to assist your loved ones in better understanding demisexuality.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Share articles as well as videos on demisexuality with them. Offer them educational materials if you find it difficult to define demisexuality yourself.
  • Discuss your personal experiences. They may be curious about how it has impacted your daily life and relationships.
  • Let them know how you’d want to be helped. What does support entail for you?
  • Let them know if it’s okay for them to inform others about your sexual orientation.
  • Tell them that they don’t need to fully comprehend demisexuality to support you.

Related Article: Asexual- What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

Finally, keep in mind that you are under no need to “come out” unless you are comfortable doing so. It might be nice to share your personality with your family members, but you are not bound to do so. It’s up to you!

Related Articles

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Back to top button
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x